How To Stop A Divorce
The US statistics estimate that about 50% of the marriages end up in divorce. Unless the odds don’t work in your favour, you will never understand the adversity of these statistics. Most couples disregard the alarming signals their partner has been sending to them for decades. To them, they assume that none of these complaints can lead to a split up. When the spouse announces that he/she is willing to go separate ways, it is like the ground is crumbling beneath them. Is there a way you can avoid all this?
The good news is that not all unhappy marriages should end in divorce. Do you have the will to save your marriage? Well, it is possible. Marriage and divorce counselors have helped numerous clients re-think their divorce- even after filing the papers. We reviewed some opinions from renowned couple therapists, and here is what they had to say on how to stop a divorce.
1. Work on Yourself
Take Some Time to Regroup
Marriage break-ups hit hard, and resulting in depression, sadness, and desperation won’t help a thing. It might seem right to break out to show your partner that you are sorry. However, it would be best if you avoid this and try to keep your emotions strong. It would help if you tried to keep yourself active, by doing getting involved in fun activities, and so on to put away the negative mentality. Some of the activities you can try include yoga, exercise, hobby, etc.
Don’t Sulk – Focus on what you can do next
Second, it is quite tempting to sulk in your emotions by hiding away, begging, and crying. Lying in the false hopes that your partner will come around. It might not be an easy idea, but what you have to do is stay positive until things work out. As you start your day, start with an affirmation that you are special, a good partner, parent, and more. It would be best if you aimed to attract the positive vibe and be kind to your partner. It does not mean you go overboard, just some simple gestures to show your partner that you still care.
Prepare for Action
When a partner announces divorce, it is okay to panic, and feel defeated. Nevertheless, this should not spell doom for your relationship because if you managed to tie the knots together, you could change his/her mind. How do you prepare for action? Most couples on the edge of divorce will have completely given up on the relationship. So, both of you have to accept your partner’s feelings and try to find the root cause of the problem. If you’d like to learn a powerful method to save your marriage, even you’re the only one trying then click the link below to access a video to learn more.
2. Make Changes Clear
Identify the Issues
To manage your crumbling marriage, you need to find out what is affecting your relationship. Approach this in the right way. What factors contributed to this situation? List all the possible factors- might be infidelity, lack of trust, the disparity in child-rearing, and more. What the marriage counselor’s advice is that you should not leave out even those small factors.
Discuss with Your Partner
Once you list out the possible factors that might be affecting your marriage, it is time you address it with your spouse. Regardless of whether you are right or wrong, it would help if you neutrally lay everything. You need to have a general chat and find out what brings you all this way. It may be an unresolved past problem or individual mistakes. Examine what effect these issues had on your relationship and seek proper guidance.
Start Making the Amendments
Now that you have an idea of what is affecting your relationship find a way to correct the mess. What can your spouse do differently to re-establish your connection? Both partners should strive to amend their problem factors and find the resolution. Note that you should not try to shun each other, but see how you can move past it.
3. Re-establish Contact
Most divorcing couples may have discontinued contact or separated physically despite living under the same roof. Once you have addressed the problem factors in your marriage, it is time to re-establish contact. Even something small as going having a night out or going out for lunch is more than enough.
Give Your Spouse Space
First, you need to give your partner some time to miss you. Acting persuasive or clingy is a significant turnoff. Note that you should avoid playing the victim. Avoid obsessive texting, calling, crying, and more. Engage in neutral talks that do not necessarily focus on negative marital issues.
Acknowledge Your Partner
You want your relationship to work out? You got to acknowledge your partner’s feelings. Say something such as ‘I know that I might not have been the best partner,’ etc. What are you trying to achieve here? You are trying to take up ownership of your downside, yet coming out as a caring partner who is ready to work things out. Once the divorce tension eases, you start getting a little bit closer, and this is the best time to begin addressing the issues at stake.
4. Set New Ground Rules
If you want things to work out, you need to put in the effort. According to philosopher Mahatma Gandhi, ‘Be the change you want to see in the universe.’
Don’t Threaten the Relationship
It needs to start with you- shut your reactive brain and work on everything as a team. I’m not saying you disregard your feelings, but this is not the time to get into petty arguments. Avoid putting more obstacles in your way, by always working out solutions. To achieve this, you need to enhance excellent communication skills. Besides, you can seek relationship advice from a counsellor.
Show Love on Both Sides
How do you take care of yourself? Start dressing in clothes you feel good on, practice a healthy lifestyle, and only everything you feel good in. Besides, it would be best if you let your partner know how you feel. Phrases such as ‘I know how you feel’ will do your relationship some good.
To sum up, you do not have to watch your marriage go down the drain. If one of the spouses is ready to work on the marriage- there is hope. Consider some of the tips we highlighted in this article, and click the link below to learn more about how to save your marriage.
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